I usually don’t wander too far from the topic of school. However, today, I feel that maybe there is something to be learned from my experience at the ball game.
I coach girls softball and have three of my own daughters on the team. Now, we aren’t stellar but they like to have fun and, if they win, it’s that much better. We don’t have a star pitcher and we miss some pop flies and grounders but the team is playing better and we’ve actually won three games. WooHoo!
Today, we played a very strong team. Good pitcher – throws hard windmills between 50 and 70 miles an hour and lots of strikes. We hit a few off her and had some players on base. Now, by the end of the third inning, our girls were getting beat 18 to 1 and not having any fun. They wanted to just go home. Then it happened. One of the girls was batting and hit a ball. The umpire didn’t call it fair or foul, no one knew what to do. I was telling the batter to run, she was confused, the backcatcher was confused and finally threw the ball to first. We all waited for a call. Finally the ball was called foul. I’m not sure what the ump said to my player but it obviously offended her and then the next pitch was called a strike. My player turned a flung her bat – not a good move. This is when it got ugly – some parents from the opposing team started yelling “Poor Sport” at the player – she’s 14 years old!!! So, I told them that they should be quiet and I’ll deal with my player, Thank you! The rest of the inning went on – one of the fans became very vocal about yelling for the pitcher to mow them down, throw it down the pipe and so on. Finally, it ended.
Now, I could have just walked over to the bench. I didn’t. As a principal, I’ve learned that sometimes we need to show kids that although they made a mistake, we’ll stand there to protect them from some of the nasties that people will doll out. So, into the stands I go. I explained that it was really unnecessary for them to say anything – that I have 10 year old girls facing a really good pitcher and they’re trying to stay in there. That we were here to have fun and, really, we weren’t having any fun and the comments from them weren’t helping. One mother told me “We know. We’ve been there.” So I asked that, if that was the case, why would they do that to other kids? What was the point? Heckling from the adults wasn’t making this any better – especially when the score was so lopsided. What was their reason for doing such a thing to a kid?
Over to the dugout I go. I talked to my player, who was mad at whatever the ump had said to her – she wouldn’t tell me. A little while later I find out someone has phoned the police because fans were getting a bit “ugly” with their comments. But everyone quit talking and heckling. Then it happened. The other team finally replaced their “ace” – score 24 – 3 and put in a rookie. We scored 6 runs. My girls started having fun. They wanted to bat. They wanted to play. They had a 3 up 3 down inning. They scored 6 more in the top of the last inning. They were having fun. They were singing and just playing really well. They knew that they could be in the game.
At the end of the game something else happened. Members of the other team refused to shake some of my players hands and my hand.
We went over to our dugout and I pointed out that, no matter what happened during a game, they were to shake hands of everyone – that not shaking someone’s hand was not an option. Now, on the way home, we were talking and one of the girls asked me why I didn’t give it to the fans. They were rude and poor sports. So, before I could say anything, my own daughter replied that it would have just caused more problems and it would only show that you meet aggression with aggression. Instead, by voicing my disappointment in what they had done calmly, they couldn’t really do anything. She then pointed out that the girls had learned well from their parents when they didn’t shake hands.
I just smiled and nodded. That’s what makes or breaks things in the world outside school – and it took me a lot longer to realize that than it did my 15 year old daughter. We might not have won the game but the life lesson that took place on that diamond was worth the price of admission in my books!
