Today, as I was sifting through a landslide of RSS feeds, I was inspired/amazed by the number of enteries that were referring the the Kathy Sierra case and the stop cyberbullying day. What has struck me about this really is that for the first time, we’re seeing a mass movement that is saying that this type of behaviour isn’t right, shoud not be tolerated and those who are doing it should be held accountable. I agree on all parts. But what will be done in this regard.
Some have suggested greater security of the internet while others have suggested that this may cause government legislation. The debate over free speech will continue as it always does as people continue to try to hide behind that idea in order to justify saying whatever they want.
However, for me, this is much larger. As this plays out in the public eye, the children are watching how the adults of the society are reacting to what is happening. For many adults, this is a non-issue since they have no idea what a blog is or what it can do. However, for the youth, they will follow what is happening because it is not by what we say but by what
we do that we pass on our values and understandings to the youth. They model what they see.
As educators, we know all too well that many of us began teaching, not as individuals with our own unique styles but as a teacher who had been molded by the impressions made upon us as we worked our way through school.
In almost a month, we will experience the one year mark of a student who committed suicide. I’m worried. The reactioins of the adults hasn’t shown them how to deal with such grief.
People want to tell them, but the examples just aren’t there.
Since then, we have organized a Community Care Council that is working with people trying to inform, educate and discuss how we can help to avoid such another tragedy after having 4in the last 9 years.
The students on our council have said loud and clear that they need the adults to lead
the way. If we want to really get to the root of some of our problems, then the adults have to be the ones that begin to solve their problems. If we want to erradicate bullying, then how parents act at sporting events
and with each other has to change. If we want to reduce the use of alcohol and drugs, well the adults have to lead, not just saying it’s not okay but showing that it’s not okay. If we want violence against women and childrent to end, then we have to do more than just speak against it. If we say that cyberbullying is bad, then there needs to be something to deter people. What? I have not clue but what boggles my mind is that adults can’t figure out why kids do things to other kids yet don’t see that many of them are doing exactly the same thing. So, if there is a drug or alcohol problem, the kids are telling us that the adults need to clean things up to be the examples for the kids.
As we draw closer to the day, I worry that the kids are going to follow the examples of the adults, which has to everything but look at themselves. Now, as an adult, I’ve talked with some of the kids and told them that I do accept a smal part of responsibility because I didn’t notice the signs and didn’t grab hold of the hints that were thrown my way. But, since then, I’ve done something about it in an effort to better prepare myself to help someone else. Many others have said that they don’t want such a tragedy to happen again, that this needs to stop. Yet, when we’ve had workshops or other things, our turnout has been poor. “It’s the schools job” is what I’ve heard. Well, my message is that it isn’t the school job. We have a responsibility but it is the job of the community to protect the children. People say they agree but…..
For the last year, I’ve been organizer of the council. This year I step aside. I believe in the idea but I’m realizing we can do a million things. Until the adults realize that it is their actions and not their words that the children are following, we’re skating uphill!
So, the stop cyberbullying day is great. It’s a step when adults begin to say that this is not allowed. But, the actions will speak in greater volumes than anything written. Will people begin to change how they treat one another online and off line? Will we see an increase in what is not allowed? Will free speech be matched with all the responsibilities that go with it? Will the cry of the people be for fairness? Will the children on the net see a change in the way that adults act and portray themselves.
Or, will this be another “Do as we say, not as we do” event. If so, then be prepared for such actions, not only to increase but to intensify. We’ve brought the problem into the light. How we handle it will, I believe, set the stage for future net interactions. Joining the cyberbullying group is great. But, in real terms, what will we do? What will you do?
Me, I’m inviting a speaker in to talk to the parents. The kids will do fine if we but show them the way. They want to see us “Walk the Talk”. How will you measure up?
2 responses so far ↓
Kathy Sierra and Ethics…
Once again, most bloggers got it twisted when it comes to Kathy Sierra. Maybe they need an alternative perspective……
Kelly,
This post really is about the quote: “It takes a village to raise a child.”
I often wonder what parents expect of us when you hear, “They won’t do anything at home, I ask them and they just don’t do it.” …or something like that, and then they want us to ‘fix’ their kid.
In my class, I have a student who is not eating well, she is missing school due to migraine headaches that last 3+ days, and mom says, “I have tried everything, Tylenol, Advil, Tylenol 3’s and I just got some Robaxacet from the doctor.”
… as much as it drives me crazy, there seems to be a default responsibility that falls on educators. Yet, one of the most important things I have learned over the years as a teacher is that:
Parents that are good role models, who show an interest in their kids’ lives, probably have the greatest positive correlation with good academic achievement compared to any other factor that I can think of.
And so, when a student does not have that, it really is our ‘duty’ to provide some of that influence for that student. Years ago my Vice Principal Gary said to me, “This job has taught me a new found respect for the kid I’d never want to be.” When your student is going home to take care of their drug addicted single parent; or when their one wish to start a school year is to have just one day when they aren’t yelled at… this is when our responsibility is greatest. You can host countless speakers, but is it these parents that will come?
Of course that in itself would be a very poor excuse not to have a speaker come… there is a full range of caring parents that can, and will, benefit from learning more.
My point? The most important things we can do are teach the kids to be respectful, let them know we truly care, and be the role models ourselves.
For stop cyberbullying this is what I did: I spoke to both of my classes, I told them about Kathy Sierra, I related it to MSN and I also linked it to the use of the discussion pages on the wikis we are working on. I also provided a link on our wiki for students to go to.
For stop cyberbullying this is what I did not do: Pass the message on to other teachers and my administration… oh how hindsight is 20/20. (Monday is a staff meeting… I will say something then.)
I think the adults in our schools (including our non-teaching staff and PAC/parents) can create a mini-village, and that we can have a school culture that is nurturing, caring and respectful in ways that compensate for some of the deficiencies in our greater community of adults.
Dave.
Leave a Comment