Well, this past weekend was one crazy time. It began Saturday morning as we loaded up and headed out for a 2 hour drive to our basketball conference finals. Our first game was a real heart stopper. We won 79 – 78 in overtime. I think I aged ten years. With the win, we were guaranteed a birth in the Regional playoffs but winning our next game moved us up in the rankings.
What does this have to do with leading? Well, at the beginning of the season, I ended up getting too worked up in a game, received a technical and really didn’t do my team any good. However, after that episode, I did some reflecting on what I had done and decided that, although I could not change my actions, I could take some steps to make sure that this sort of things didn’t happen again. The first thing was to call the referee and appologize for my actions. It didn’t change what I had done but it did demonstrate that I had recognized that I had made the mistakes. It also didn’t matter if it changed the mind of the referee. But appologizing wasn’t enough. I had to come up with a way to avoid that from ever happening again.
Knowing that I needed to “do” something so that I didn’t get so uptight, I looked for a method that would allow me to relieve the stress while the game was going on. My solution. A ball of funtac. Yes, I use funtac. I roll, pull and basically work the “fun” out of the tac. I stay seated on the bench and focus on what the game is about, kids playing. I don’t blame the referees or the other team or any other outside sources.
We focus on what we are doing and what we need to change in order to be successful. We joke during the timeouts and try to remember that, at the end of the day, there needs to be a certain amount of fun mixed in with the seriousness of what we are doing. We discuss doing things better and focusing on how we can help the team to be successful. I remind individuals that they need to look around and be aware of what is happening around them at all times, even after scoring a basket. They just can’t blindly run back to defense. We work together to figure out what the other team is doing and then change our tactics to take advantage of areas where they are weakest. We don’t play any one style of offence or defense but have learned to adapt and change to what the other team is doing. We’ve become a successful team because we listen to one another and have moved past individuals needing to be in the limelight. Through it all, I’ve become a better coach and a better leader. Why? Because it has forced me to figure out how to get the best out of the 13 students who don’t necessarily get along all the time. We’ve learned that we need everyone.
As a school leader, I’ve realized many of the same things. The biggest thing that I have discovered is that people have to know that you are a human and you make mistakes. Dean Shareski asks some very important questions about making mistakes and being transparent.
Education doesn’t do a very good job of documenting or discussing failures.
He’s right. We don’t. As administrators, we also don’t take the time to admit that we make mistakes. Now some of them are small mistakes, the kinds that are made in the day-to-day living of life. However, during our career, there are times that we make big mistakes. My mistakes usually center around being stubborn/aggressive. Those mistakes that I have made usually come when I don’t remember the “team” part of what we are doing in school and I focus on the “I” part. Most of the time, I end up with a more serious problem. I have learned that when I do make one of those mistakes, I need to appologize and then set about making things right. I’ve had to demonstrate to the students that you can look a person in the eyes and admit you made a mistake and say that you are sorry. It won’t ruin you, isn’t a sign of weakness and demonstrates that you are responsible for what you do. In a time when many of our public leaders and public celebraties are not owning up to what they are doing, students need examples of adults who are willing to do the right thing.
This also means that when you feel that a right decision has been made, you don’t give in to the pressure that sometimes accompanies a difficult decision which isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it means not responding to criticism being directed at you from members of the public. Sometimes, it means giving the staff around you space to deal with the decision, which can be a rather lonely time. This is where it is important to develop connections and relationships with other members and sometimes that is difficult.
For me, I have a few administrator colleagues that I call when things are difficult but, due to space and their workload, it doesn’t always work. I have begun using the medium of the internet to connect and have begun to develop relationships with a few administrators online. I’ve found that these are as strong as those I have developed face-to-face. Sometimes, it is easier to talk with them and get a response because they are not in the same locale and are removed from the politics. Depending on the level of the relationship, they are very good at giving you honest feedback, which is what we need as administrators.
Leadership
Books have been written on the subject. The talk circuit is full of people trying to help others be good leaders. During this time of seemingly unending change, it might be even more difficult to identify an the qualities of a leader. For me, honesty, truthfulness, determination, clear vision and a sense of self and others are things that have become important. In our world of education that is being swarmed by “assessment”, “data driven decisions” and “accountability”, I want someone who is able to see past the immediate toward what is coming. They are not consumed by “the work” but have interests beyond education and encourage others to do the same. They realize this will not be solved in the immediate so plan for the future.
As a leader, sometimes it is hard not to be caught in the immediacy of a situation. However, I am learning that not reacting immediately allows me to look at the situation more clearly. I have also learned that I don’t have to be the one leading. I can allow others to use their strengths and lead by giving them support. I see that the day of the “great all-in-one” leader is over. To lead means that we must seek out the strengths of others and help them to do great things rather than trying to do it all ourselves, which sometimes turn into disasters.
In those moments when I think more about “I” than we and make a mistake, I have learned to admit it and seek solutions to the problem. It hasn’t always been easy. It doesn’t always mean that things are “good” and the world is always happy. It does mean that the people whom I lead know that I am human, make mistakes and will admit it. They know that it is okay to take a risk and they are willing to try it more and more. They know that I will back them if things don’t work out and try to find a solution. Students know that I work towards solutions. It doesn’t mean we don’t have consequences. However, we work toward finding solutions and bringing about change. Most of the time this works but sometimes students don’t buy in.
I want to be a good leader just like I want to be a good coach. I’ve learned that I can’t play the game for the students, they have to decide the outcome themselves but win or lose, I will be their coach and I can’t do things that will put the team at a disadvantage. If someone isn’t doing their job on the court and it’s causing us points, my job is to point it out and provide them with the skills and insights to help them be successful. Same in the school. I am the leader but I can’t do it all myself. I provide the support and the necessary environment for success. When individuals are having trouble, I talk with them and provide support and I encourage people to take risks and try new things. Life is learning and that is what we are all about.
5 responses so far ↓
Transparency is becoming more and more a quality leaders need. In the age of accountability we don’t seem to have a choice. And yet the challenge is that in the age of accountability, we are often reluctant and fearful of mistakes. Leaders like yourself are exposing your humanity in a way that we can no only admire but learn from.
Good stuff.
This comment is not about leadership, but about funtac
I have a student who should probably be diagnosed as ADHD, but for a variety of reasons he isn’t. I’m not a teacher who thinks that every kid who can’t sit still in his seat should be medicated, but I really think this child would benefit from it. Anyway – no medication so the kid spends his class periods getting in trouble for fidgeting in his seat, demolishing his writing utensils and missing valuable educational information. I once tried giving him a stress ball, but within minutes he was bouncing it off the computer monitor in front of him. When I read about your ball of funtac, I thought aha! maybe that would be enough to keep his hands busy but his mind on me and what I am saying. Someone in the building must have some in the back of a drawer….
Your comments remind me of an article I read recently in Business 2.0 magazine on startups and failure.(http://money.cnn.com/magazines/business2/business2_archive/2007/03/01/8401031/index.htm?postversion=2007022808)
One of the things that struck me about the article was how the dot.com companies that survive have learned to quickly assess their failures, put their egos aside, and change their products quickly when needed. Several of those interviewed admitted that this was a difficult task at first, and sometimes it meant changing course entirely.
I think if schools perceived their missions as more urgent and could be more nimble in addressing mistakes or failures and re-setting a new course, it would be a more effective model.
I wanted to applaud you for openly sharing your insights about leadership and being human. I agree with Dean about the need for transparency and how constructive that can be. It’d also be wonderful if we can teach students that failure is one of the best learning tools we all have.
Thank you Carolyn and Dean. With change being something that I have been doing regularly the past 8 years, I realized that unless I can build trust and relationships built on trust, my ablility to do my job would be diminished. Sometimes trust does take a long time to build but when people see that you are committed to what you say, you do try to “walk the talk” and you are willing to accept your mistakes, they are more willing to work with you knowing you are not going to take things lightly and they are more willing to give things a try knowing that what you are asking is not usually a whim.
Kelly,
You can really post from the heart. I felt this as much as I read it. One of my favorite student leadership activities involves a metaphor that ends with, “When you have one eye fixed on your destination, you only have one eye with which to find the way.” Too often as coaches we are over-fixated with winning and forget that ‘it’s the journey that really counts’, and isn’t that true for our day-to-day jobs as well!
You are the kind of administrator that I would like to work for… (if you worked somewhere warmer:-)
Dave
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