Comments on: One flew over the….

By: Dave Sherman

Dave Sherman — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 22:52:05 +0000

Kelly,
I have had the same types of comments made to me at school. Comments that came out of nowhere, I was not expecting, and I do not know I really deserved. However, we can’t control what others are thinking or their perceptions. People often make judgments without understanding the big picture. I have come to the conclusion that we can learn from every experience we have in life. Do not feel badly about the basketball situation. You are only human and you are allowed to have feelings. Part of coaching is expressing your feelings to your players. This could be a perfect time to ask the girls on the team if they noticed your behavior. If so, were they offended? My guess is that they were clueless about it!
Let it go, and enjoy your team!
Dave

By: Kelly Christopherson

Kelly Christopherson — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 15:52:27 +0000

Thanks for the comments. I know that one must not allow the negativity of one to colour how one sees things. It did, however, make it clear to me that we must be aware that our reactions and perceptions of things are not necessarily the reality and we need to provide an environment of inquiry and critical feedback where mistakes are seen to be learning opportunities that, with the right light, will bring understanding to the students as they struggle to make connections between what they know and what they are experiencing.
Thanks for the encouragement and reminders!
Kelly

By: Sunny Williams

Sunny Williams — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 23:14:49 +0000

Absolutely, do not focus on the negative comment of one. It is important that you take the time to reflect on the incident and learn from it-if there is any thing to learn from in and then move on. Know that you are not alone in having difficulty forgetting about negative comments from others. We need to learn to focus on the positive things we hear, but I know I remember the negative long after I forget the positive.

By: Jim

Jim — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 01:26:53 +0000

I agree with Karen. Don’t let that one negative comment eat at you! My first year of teaching (well, 3rd overall, but the 1st at that particular school) a parent accused me of being “too negative.” That was a shocker! It really bothered me, because I always thought of myself as being very encouraging of my students. After I’d been in the district awhile, and had many more occasions to talk to and observe this parent, and to get to know her children better, I came to the conclusion that the parent was the one who was “too negative.” You can’t possibly get to know the parent from the other school, and they don’t know the “real” you, so my 2 cents is FUGGEDABOUTIT.

By: Karen

Karen — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 14:35:28 +0000

I really felt compelled to respond to your post. I think it’s great that as an administrator you are so reflective of your actions – many administrators feel that they can and should do whatever they want to. However, I see nothing wrong with you “slapping the floor when a player missed a shot”. You were expressing your disappointment with the missed shot – not the player! And even so, students need to learn that they can’t win them all – oh but wait – your team did win! But the winning team can’t have all the points, or get all the points they go for. That parent sounds like one who doesn’t want children to experience disappointment, but that’s part of growing up. I actually had that conversation with one of my classes yesterday – no one is perfect and we all make mistakes (i.e. we don’t always get what we strive for the first time), but as long as we learn and grow from those mistakes then it’s not a bad thing. Kids who never experience disappointment, will grow up expecting everything to be handed to them without any effort.
Don’t be so hard on yourself!